What To Do When Self Doubt Kicks In

It’s taking a hell of a lot now to be strong, centered and grounded. Believe me, I’m trying like hell.  

Taking the month of August off, after weeks and months of intense deep work with my growing global online Yoga, Fitness and Spiritual Community, I realized how much I miss my community’s positive energy and having to show up every day to serve. 

More recently, I’ve been preparing to send my son off to boarding school (something we have dreamed about and manifested for years, yet now questioning). All of that coupled with the pending elections and the extremely disturbing spike in COVID19 cases in our beautiful country that had done so well. 

Lastly, my daughter is going off to LA to work, and my little girl here is facing online school again, which we don’t know when will start. 

I won’t lie to you – the waves of fear, anxiety, and self-doubt have washed up on the shores of my mind BIG TIME these last few weeks. These unwanted visitors, these old and almost forgotten shadows recently stopped me on my tracks. I felt stuck, unable to make the simplest of decisions, sad, crying for no reason, heart beating like crazy in my chest, not sleeping well, really afraid and just extremely exhausted. 

These are not feelings that are familiar to me. Nevertheless, they came. And although they are not all gone, they are a lot less now when I gave myself some time to process them.  

Can you relate? I know I’m not the only one here. I would love to know if these past 2 weeks in particular felt more intense for you.

So, what did I do?  

This is not an energy I want to hang out in for very long. If not attended to, it can take you into a dark hole of depression, discomfort and even disease. 

I literally STOPPED myself on my tracks, made the commitment of taking 5 days off in making any decisions and turned inwards for a while. Thanks to my amazing friend and Kundalini Yoga Teacher, Kia Miller, and her online Radiant Body Retreat – this could not have come at a better time!

Through breathing, yoga, meditation and deep rest I finally got to a place of loving awareness and observed my feelings, allowed them to wash over me, and then accepted them as part of the process of transformation.  

I know something has shifted because I’m breathing again. It’s always about the breath. This pandemic is all about the breath. Thank God for my yoga, my meditation, my long runs and time in nature and high vitality foods – I don’t know where I would be without them. 

Again, I turn to these timeless teachings to bring me back to a place of love, joy, peace and clarity.

This is not an easy time my friends…

• There is no manual on how to parent during a pandemic, much less help our children thrive with online learning, no socialization and endless screen time.
• There is no crystal ball to tell us if our family, our friends and our country will be spared, what to expect, or when this scourge is going to end.
• There are so few leaders we can trust or media we can believe and the uneasy feeling that there is more to come.

So, what can we do?  

There is nothing we can really do but turn inwards and find the stability, the calm, the light and the love within.

I talk about Living Fit, Living Life and Living Love in my programs, but the first and most important here in these unprecedented times is Living Spiritually Fit. 

This is where you use the tools to help you to drop out of your mind where we live either in the blame and shame of the past or in the future of fear and worry and drop into our hearts, where we can truly feel our feelings instead of stuffing them down with other things like food, alcohol, or even Netflix!  

It is in the heart that we become the witness and the observer of our feelings and realize that our feelings are not us… they are how we relate to what’s happening to us from past conditioning. When we drop from the heart into our souls, connect to a higher power (whatever that means to you) to find the answers, to see the bigger picture of what is happening now, this my friends, is something that you can do. 

And if you don’t know where to start, find someone who can show you. I truly believe that things will be getting even worse before they get better, and that being Spiritually Fit is more important than ever.

I am so grateful for these teachings and for the virtual communities of like-minded souls like Kia Miller, TmrwTday and Peter Opperman, whom I can connect with when I’m feeling vulnerable.

When you are riding your waves and feel the fear, the anxiety, the negativity at your door, take some time to breathe deeply. Even five minutes helps. 

Be aware of the people you are spending the most time with, be sure they are lifting you up. Practice self-care and radical compassion. And most of all, keep the vision of your highest self burning bright.  

These are intense times, my friends. But what we are facing are here to build our spiritual muscles. Stay strong. I love you. ❤️  Together we have what it takes to ride this wave!! ?